ARCHIVED TWHLAY I:IX
ARCHIVED
The Way He Looks at You Series
Act I: The Way He Looks at You
Chapter 9: The Way He Comforts You
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Story Master List: The Way He Looks at You Series
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Cal finally pulls himself from your body and you collapse exhausted on the bed. A pillow flies from its location at the headboard into Cal’s hand and he places it to the side of your body. He helps move you so that you are laying on your back; the pillow resting under your lower back.
“I’m not done with you yet.” He says, spreading your legs wider.
You comply, too tired to do anything but allow him to move you as he sees fit. “Cal, what if I end up pregnant? And it’s not…” You don’t finish the sentence.
Cal gives you a sympathetic look. You understand what he isn’t saying and you feel sick at the prospect. “Did you determine if it’s a possibility?” He asks in an even tone.
You shake your head, “I don’t know, it’s been maybe a week since my last cycle, so it’s possible, but I’m not sure.” Tears prick your eyes.
“You’ve taken a risk. Considering my role in the galaxy, I won’t be able to spare your pain if a child, the wrong child, grows in you.” He says, his eyes hard.
You nod and a couple tears fall from your eyes, you reach to wipe them away.
“However, I will do everything in my power to lower the odds of the worst-case scenario.” He says looking down at your stomach.
Cal appears to be lost in thought for a moment. You don’t know for sure but it seems likely he is playing out potential futures in his mind. “So if I leave, you’ll monitor me until you know for sure.”
Cal’s eyes meet yours again, “Yes, there are three potential outcomes, all of which require my presence until we know. You may still leave, but you won’t be free of me.”
You are quiet for a moment, completely horrified. Quickly you have to sit up as tears stream down your face. You aren’t even really sure what you are crying about. The fear of having a child, losing the promise of potential freedom, the knowledge that you may have to watch a baby, your baby, die. This isn’t how you wanted things to go tonight. You wanted to act on desire, not have such heavy weights placed on your shoulders.
Cal moves out from between your legs, allowing you a moment to be with your emotions. He moves to sit next to you and wraps a muscular arm around your shoulders, pulling you close. His other hand reaches out behind both of you and he is suddenly holding an extra blanket. He wraps it around your naked bodies. You lean your head against Cal and allow the tears to fall, every painful thought floods your mind.
In your childhood home a decade prior, your father is pulling the grate off the vent, stuffing you inside and pleading for you to stay quiet. You are crying and hitting him, trying to stop him from saving you, you don’t want to be left alone. Your mother is clinging to your brother in the center of the room, hugging him tight against her chest. Whispering something against the top of his head as she repeatedly presses kisses to his hair. There is the sound of pounding on the front door and yelling outside.
You keep fighting back, preventing your father from placing the grate back on to conceal you. Through tears you beg your father to allow you to all flee the home together, he just keeps shaking his head and telling you to be brave and stay quiet. He tells you to wait until dawn the next morning to leave your hiding place. You cry and beg but finally allow the grate to be placed to hide you.
The front door explodes open, falling off its hinges and your father races away from you, charging forwards to protect your mother and brother. He throws himself in front of the two smaller people on the floor trying to argue with the Grand Inquisitor but his words fall on deaf ears. You shove your fist into your mouth to muffle the sounds of horror trying to escape your lips.
In a flash of red your father’s head is rolling across the floor of the small room, his body falling to the ground. You hear screaming; you think it is your mother and brother, but it may also be you. The Grand Inquisitor kicks your father’s body to the side and reaches to pull your younger brother from your mother’s arms. She screams and fights back. Your brother looks like a doll being fought over. He has completely shut down, already knowing his fate.
The Grand Inquisitor finally pulls him away from your mother. There is so much screaming. You aren’t sure how it happened but your brother is lying lifeless on the floor next to your father. Your bladder gives out. You hear a wicked laugh that is cut short as your mother fights back. She stops moving suddenly with a lightsaber sticking out of her back. She is looking at you, and you hold your breath, trying to keep quiet as you watch the life drain out of her eyes.
Everything is silent. The only sound is your heartbeat in your ears. You aren’t breathing.
The Grand Inquisitor leaves after looking over his work. The storm troopers comb through the rest of the house, taking what they want but not finding you. You breathe in a slow and shallow manner as they work, not wanting to be the next victim. An hour passes before you allow yourself to breathe normally, but you quickly lose control of the breath as you sob. The violence of the cries causes you to vomit all over yourself.
You stayed in the vent, covered in your filth, sobbing, and staring at the bodies of your family for hours. When dawn arrived you finally left your hiding spot, honoring your father’s last wishes. You run to your family and lie with them, crying, but tears stopped falling long ago. Allowing yourself about an hour of mourning before turning to go to your shared room. You trash your clothes, clean yourself and change. You pack a bag full of everything you think you might need and head out into the world, completely alone for the first time in your life.
Cal is making soft noises, trying to calm you down. He is squeezing you tight against him, shushing quietly and murmuring reassuring words against your hair. You continue to cry, your body shakes every time you inhale.
You remember spending many nights sleeping alone in alleys, starving on the streets. Surviving in the freezing temperatures and icy rain, dehydrated and barely able to keep consciousness. Then you remember a kind person who took you in, provided you food and shelter. You ended up telling them what happened to your family, and they informed you of the Rebellion. Taking you with them to meet others who found themselves displaced by the cruelness of the Empire. You learned to pilot after a few years of earning your keep. Over the next five years, you became the capable woman that captured Theo’s heart.
Then your thoughts shift to Theo, and the pain of losing the relationship that had meant everything to you. Losing the almost family you had built, and maybe you were still building without his knowledge. You realize you will have to watch as another of your flesh and blood will lose their life in front of you, by a horrible red lightsaber. More sobs rack your body.
“Kill me, I don’t want to live anymore. I can’t watch it happen again. I’d rather die too, before knowing.” You say between great heaves.
Cal doesn’t respond, instead continuing to soothe you by rocking you gently. You collapse further against him, completely unable to hold your own body weight. Unable to do anything but cry and cry until there is nothing left. You are so completely exhausted by everything that has happened that you end up falling asleep in Cal’s arms.
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You wake hours later tucked comfortably into the spacious bed. Unable to see past your blurry vision, you rub the sleep from your overly dry eyes. The sun is high in the sky, showing you slept right through the agreed upon deadline. You wonder briefly if that means that you no longer have the option to choose.
Stretching you find you are wearing a black slightly oversized shirt, it smells clean and you hope you didn’t leak bodily fluids all over the bottom hem. You reach down to feel and find that you are relatively clean down there, Cal must have cleaned you up before dressing you for bed. Sitting up you see three large glasses of water and a note on the bedside table. You pick up the note first.
I will be back later this afternoon. PLEASE do not leave these quarters. We will discuss things upon my return. Help yourself to anything that you need in my absence.
I don’t want to see a drop of water left in the glasses; you need to rehydrate.
-13th Br Cal
You smile at the note, specifically the sign off. Too thirsty to ignore the water and you grab one glass, chugging the contents. You reach for the next and can only drink half of it before setting it down. You realize you need a bathroom and likely a shower so you get up and head for the nearest door, happy to find a luxurious en suite.
Your family wasn’t poor, but you had nothing this nice. The bathroom is large, and the shower is open to the rest of the room, however potted plants provide a border around the designated showering space. Large green leaves and beautiful flowers decorate the area, feeling like a paradise tucked in the icy heart of the Empire. The plants appear to come from many parts of the galaxy and you wonder exactly where Cal collected them.
You see your dress folded and resting on the counter next to the sink, some spare toiletries are lying nearby, obviously awaiting your use. There is another note laying on top of your dress.
The dress is optional. My closet is open to you if you want to cover up more. Naked is okay too.
You snort at the last part and decide to head towards the doors at the back of the bathroom to look for the closet. The first door opens to a toilet, which you pause your exploration to use. You notice traces of blood and you aren’t sure what it means, but you hope it is just from the rough portion of last night.
You exit the small room and head towards the second door, opening into a large walk-in closet. There is a significant lack of color in the hung clothing but you search through the endless black garments. You find one of his black tank tops and take it to change into. You take some black lounge pants but they are too big; figuring you can roll the waist and legs to better fit you.
Heading back into the bathroom you place the new clothes on the counter and turn on the shower. Hot steam fills the room and you comb your hair and brush your teeth. You remove the sleep shirt and take the spare soap before heading into the lovely water.
It’s been so long since you’ve enjoyed hot running water, you mostly stand there, relaxing your body. Finally, you clean yourself with the soap but linger in the warmth before shutting the water off and wrapping yourself in a couple nearby towels.
You comb your hair again and dress, the tank top fits well enough and you have to roll both ends of the sweats multiple times to get them to fit. Finally, you feel comfortable and clean. You head back into the bedroom and make the bed, then chug the rest of the second glass of water. Picking up the third and taking it with you towards the front of Cal’s quarters.
There was a kitchen that you had spotted when you entered and you head towards it to find some food. You find something substantial and sit down to eat. You can only focus on eating since it has been almost a full day since your last meal. Once the meal is complete, you chug the remaining glass of water and then look around.
You aren’t entirely sure what to do now that you have covered your basic needs. So you decide to snoop, unable to fully give up your old Rebel ways. How often does anyone really get to peer behind the curtain of the Inquisitors?
There were a couple doors in the hallways leading to Cal’s bedroom so you start with the door on the right. It is an office, a desk with various pieces of tech probably containing secrets and plans of the Empire. Resisting with all your might to look through them. There is probably tons of information that could help the Rebellion. However, Cal can read your mind, and he would never let you leave if you knew the information contained within.
So you walk away from the desk, instead heading towards the shelves lining the walls. Memorabilia covers them, likely from his travels through the galaxy. You didn’t take Cal as a sentimental man, but he likes to collect items for his home. He didn’t stop at collecting plants. There are small artifacts: stone carvings, pieces of pottery, and other trinkets.
Most of it means very little to you, but you find yourself drawn to another table, a workstation. Lots of pieces of scrap metal and tools lay about. There is a deactivated small red and white droid sitting beneath the table. You can’t imagine why he would have a droid here, maybe he was using it for parts.
After a bit more admiration of the keepsakes, you leave the room, closing the door behind you. You head towards the other door and find the room empty, just a bedroom, but no bed or any other furniture. Searching the room to be sure it isn’t a cover up for something else. The room is very much just an empty room.
You head back towards the living room and sit on the couch. No longer having a task, you finally allow yourself to think. It seems you still have a choice to make about leaving, but you aren’t sure what would be best. If you leave, those in the Rebellion will be in danger, however staying would mean joining the Empire. Being okay with the atrocities they commit. An act of sacrifice to save others who can continue to fight against the Empire.
The sound of a lock opening startles you, but you relax when Cal walks through the front door, dressed entirely in his Inquisitor uniform. The uniform causes a minor panic but you try to remind yourself that he won’t hurt you, at least, not now.
A smile breaks his stern expression when he sees you seated on the couch wearing his clothes. “You’re up, did you drink the water?”
You glance towards the empty glass on the kitchen counter, he follows your gaze and nods. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m okay, just drained after everything yesterday.” You say, giving a small smile.
Cal removes his boots and the outer layer of armor of his uniform, then walks to sit beside you. “We have much to discuss, if you are ready.”
You take a deep breath, “I’m ready.”
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