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The Way He Looks at You Series
Act I: The Way He Looks at You
Chapter 5: The Way He Hears You
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Chapter Summary
You are finally brought to Cal's private quarters, but there is doubt in your mind of the choices you have made.
Rating: 18+
Words: 2.6K
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The ship makes its descent onto the darkening planet below and your heart hammers. This moment feels so permanent, and you have doubts about following Cal when he had given you a choice. You shouldn’t be here, you should have restarted somewhere beautiful and led a normal life, alone.
This morning feels like a lifetime ago and you try to reconcile with how quickly you went from being the girlfriend of a Jedi to the, something, of an Inquisitor. You aren’t even sure what you are to Cal, perhaps a glorified pet. The closer you get to the landing pad of the tower below, the less sure you are about any decision you’ve made since being orphaned.
Your body trembles again and you feel nauseous from the anxiety. The ship finally touches down and your teeth chatter. Everything feels cold and terrifying at this moment. Your numb fingers release the safety straps and you stand, your face washed of all color.
Cal is already standing watching you, he hasn’t yet lowered the loading door. He approaches you; you aren’t sure if his expression is annoyance or concern. As his body nears yours, he places his hands on your shoulders and lowers his head to eye level.
“Fear is to be expected, few outsiders see this place, and fewer survive. Do not allow your mind to be the reason that you join the majority.” He says, his words have a hint of concern. He then reaches behind your head to raise the hood of your cloak, placing it on your head, low enough to block your face.
“Yes, Cal, I’ll remember the training you provided.” You say shakily. Taking a deep breath, you try to remind yourself of each intimate interaction that Cal has provided.
The loading door lowers and once it is firmly on the ground Cal walks down the ramp, you stay close on his heels. The hood blocks out most of the surroundings and you wonder if that was actually Cal’s plan, to reduce the input of the terrifying outside world. He has shown you an odd amount of kindness for an Inquisitor, and it wouldn’t surprise you if many of his actions were secretly for your benefit.
He leads you from the landing pad onto a bridge that connects to the tower. The city is far below and the wind whips your cloak around your ankles. Your hands reach up to tug the hood down, preventing it from being forced off your head.
Cal leads you towards a large metal door that slides open as he nears. Once inside, the door closes and the howling wind finally stops. You hear footsteps echo through the room as someone approaches; you don’t dare look up to identify them.
“Thirteenth Brother! I assume the mission went well since you brought something to celebrate with?” A familiar voice, but not the one you feared.
“Fifth Brother, yes as planned.” Cal replies curtly.
“Why not visit the whores in the city?” The Fifth Brother says in a cruel tone. “Or do you intend to share?”
“I have no interest in laying with filth in the city. I’d rather keep what is mine in my own quarters.” Cal replies, his voice emphasizes the word ‘mine,’ as he speaks.
“Of course.” The Fifth Brother says, unconvinced. “It seems odd for you. Don’t you usually just take what you want on your ship and leave? Is she really worth bedding twice?”
There is a twist of pain in your heart at the knowledge that Cal has been with lots of women on his ship. You feel disgusted knowing that you likely sat in the same seats as his other conquests. You can’t help but imagine a variety of women riding him in his pilot’s seat. The same seat where he denied you.
Then it hits you, he denied you. He said that ‘none of your firsts will happen on his ship.’ It makes you feel oddly happy to be given such special treatment. It feels like you somehow matter more, like he desires you and only you. A warm and fuzzy feeling soothes your previous anxiety.
“Fifth Brother, are you implying that I should not give into my desires?” Cal retorts.
“Of course not, but I am extremely curious as to the identity of this woman.” The Fifth Brother responds and you hear his footsteps approaching you.
Once he stands before you, he angles down to the left to see under your hood. His tilted green face becomes visible and his eyes meet yours. Your eyes widen and you raise your head, standing to your full height. The Fifth Brother stands with you and uses the Force to knock your hood backwards exposing your face to the room.
You freeze as his eyes travel over your body; you fight the need to shift under his gaze, repulsed by the hunger in his eyes as he looks at you. It’s nothing like how Cal looks at you, Cal’s gaze feels focused and dedicated. But this one feels dangerous, predatory.
“I can see why you picked her.” He leers at the exposed skin between your breasts. “Where did you find her?”
“She made the unfortunate mistake of bumping into me, retribution is required for insulting an Inquisitor.” Cal says, “Her looks saved her life, but now that life belongs to me.” The way he speaks of you is cold and unpleasant.
You almost believe he feels nothing for you, but every action has proved otherwise. It’s clear that he is protecting you at this moment. Disregarding the worth of your life, but still staking his claim. You feel at ease from the underlying threats in his words. Despite how the Fifth Brother is looking you over, you know he will not cross Cal.
Cal sighs audibly, “If you’ll excuse me, I will be retiring for the night.” He looks into your eyes, “Come.” He then turns to walk swiftly towards a hallway at the far end of the room. You bow your head at the Fifth Brother before turning to catch up to Cal.
The walk is silent other than the sound of his boots on the tile. Your own boots are much quieter, designed for sneaking. You never realized that the volume of one's shoes could show their power. You think of when hearing the boots of an Inquisitor would strike fear into your heart. In this moment, the sound doesn't scare you; it arouses you to hear his authority.
Cal leads you through a series of long hallways and up several staircases. Finally reaching a set of double doors at the end of a shorter hallway. He presses a series of buttons on the keypad to the right and you hear the door unlock. He turns the handle and enters the dark room, holding the door for you to follow. As you enter, he turns on the lights and there is a small sitting room with a couch and two chairs. It is nothing special and obviously meant for the possibility of conversations behind closed doors.
The lock slides back into place as Cal seals the door. You let out a breath and your shoulders relax. You quickly see another door at the back of the room, you assume that is where the rest of the private quarters are. Cal steps to your side and places a guiding hand on the small of you back, over your cloak. He leads you through the formal room to pull the next door open and stands to the side, allowing you to pass first. His demeanor obviously changes now that you are out of sight of others.
Entering through the second door leaves you standing in a small entryway, Cal follows you inside and closes the door behind you both, locking this one as well. You feel at ease knowing there are two locked doors protecting you from the rest of the Inquisitors.
You are only beginning to look around the room when you feel Cal’s hands reach around you from behind, his fingers unclasping your cloak. The cloak doesn’t fall to the floor this time as Cal catches it in his left hand. Without distancing his body from yours, he reaches back and places the cloak on a nearby hook. His right hand remains at the base of your throat, fingers dancing on the skin between your collarbones. You breathe slowly, worried that if you make too much noise that he may stop.
His left hand returns to your body and he gently pulls the hair off your right shoulder, draping it onto the other side. Cal traces whispers of patterns on the skin of your neck, sliding upwards until his hand wraps around the top of your throat. He applies no pressure, but hesitates as if trying to decide something. The decision is obvious when he slides back down your throat trailing his fingers down your chest at an agonizing pace.
“What am I to you?” the words exit your lips before you can stop them. It is frustrating that you would choose to ruin the moment, but the doubt in your mind is growing. The danger of being here, how quickly everything has escalated, it’s finally catching up and you need reassurance.
Cal’s hand hesitates for a moment, but to your surprise he continues gliding his hand down the exposed skin towards your stomach. “Is this about my conversation with the Fifth Brother?” he asks.
“I’m not sure, I don’t know who I am or where I stand in the galaxy right now. Everything is so different from yesterday.” You say, trying to find the right words.
“I should tell you who you are?” Cal inquires. His hands move to grip your hips and he places a gentle kiss to the base of your neck, causing you to close your eyes.
“I think I need your guidance, you forbid my old life, my name, everything. I do not know who I’m supposed to be now.” You mumble.
“You are obedient, lustful, and often sad. Everything else I know about you is from a life I choose not to believe exists.” Cal says into your neck. “Does that give you the labels that you require?”
You sigh, unsure what to say to get the answers you need. You are grateful that Cal has pretended there aren’t valuable secrets in your head. That he will look past them in exchange for your loyalty. It just feels impossible to move through life without so much as a name.
Cal releases your hips and instead takes your hand, leading you towards the window on the far side of the room. You look down at the city below, it’s beautiful but a reminder of how the Empire views civilians, as beneath them. You spent your life fighting against their new order just to join it in a moment of desperation.
Cal is observing you, likely listening to each thought in your mind. He finally speaks, “You told me earlier that you wish to feel desired. You clarified that also includes being touched, kissed, fucked, and used. I have only delivered on two of those desires.” He says, the words sounding filthy as they come from his lips.
“Maybe I desire more than that?” You ask and turn to look at him, his eyes tinged with hunger. You feel your chest tighten as breathing becomes more difficult.
“Perhaps.” He says, unconvinced. “I have an offer for you. If being near me is truly not what you want. I will allow you to leave tomorrow morning at dawn. I will help you and ensure that you are in no immediate danger as you choose your own path.”
His words surprise you, it seems highly unlikely that he would give you additional opportunities to leave. Part of you feels disappointed at the thought of leaving permanently. Knowing you would never feel his touch again, but you would become someone. Able to find a new purpose in this world.
Finding purpose doesn’t feel like what your heart longs for. Then you realize you want to belong again. There was belonging in your family and in your relationship with Theo, that feeling was a great comfort. If you left, you could find someone new who could provide that sense of belonging. You could belong to someone, and maybe even belong in a family of your own.
Cal’s eyes darken when you think of finding someone new. He speaks again, “I will let you go, but you must allow me to fulfill the remaining desires you had shared. Then you may make your decision. However, if you still choose to leave, know that any information I’ve learned will not remain protected. Stay, and what is unspoken will remain that way. That is my offer.”
Your eyes go wide and your heart beats hard as adrenaline courses through your veins. There was a catch. Leaving means Cal has no reason to protect the secrets that he knows, Theo and many more in the Rebellion would be in danger.
“Freedom comes at a price.” Cal says, “but it is unlikely that you will risk the lives of others after tonight. I intend to make the choice an easy one.”
You suck in a breath at his promise. There is no loss in waiting until dawn to decide, the hard decision will come after. And you would like to come now. “I agree to your offer.”
Cal’s lips curl into a smile, but the intensity of his eyes remains. “Very good.” He praises.
He moves slowly to stand directly in front of you. He places a finger under your chin while his other hand pulls you close around the waist. Cal tilts your head to look up at him. Your hands grip the fabric of his uniform and you press your body into his, wanting to be close.
“Desired, touched, kissed, fucked, and used.” He says, remembering the order. “I will use every second from now until dawn to give you those desires. There will be no stopping until we see the sun.”
Your heart leaps at the implications, realizing that you are at his mercy. “Until we see the sun, I am yours.”
He leans in, lips barely brushing yours as he speaks, “You are like the moon.” Cal’s words are low and quiet, his eyes full of lust as he looks down at you. “I have desired you and I have touched you.”
The words cause you to realize what is coming next, and you know this time denial is unlikely. You tip your head ever so slightly to encourage his next move. “Cal,” you say in barely a whisper.
“Mine.” He breathes as his lips connect with yours.
Your eyes flutter closed at the contact and you are barely capable of thought. Your mouth opens slightly as Cal presses one of his lips between yours, sucking on your bottom lip. You kiss him back eagerly and moan at the sensation. His tongue licks along the now swollen flesh before releasing it from his mouth. His lips move against yours with great need.
You open your mouth craving more and he licks gently at your tongue, stroking it expertly. His right hand moves from your chin to tangle into your hair, pulling you closer as he explores your mouth. Your hands reach up to wrap around his neck, trying to keep him in this moment.
Cal pulls away from the kiss gently but keeps his face near. You try to lean in and kiss him again but he pulls back, just out of reach. “We must move to the next desire, I only have until sunrise. The next two will require much time.”
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