ARCHIVED TWHLAY II:III

 

ARCHIVED

The Way He Looks at You Series

Act II: The Way You Look at Him
Chapter 3: The Way You Don't Belong to Him

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Chapter Summary

Dark thoughts plague the man who still loves you.

TW: torture (electricity)

Rating: 18+
Words: 1.4K

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I wake groggy, taking in my dismal surroundings. My brain rejecting the situational reality. I shift on the hard metal surface to relieve my aching shoulders.

My thoughts drift to my future family, wishing for their safety. During the lengthy hours without severe suffering, I attempt to reconcile with the painful mistakes of my past. Deeply regretting the stupid decision that led here, that sabotaged my happiness.

I allowed the structured ways of the past to dictate my future. My fear of the Dark Side led me directly to it. I try to resist its seductive call, but each day I feel the light dim, leaving behind murky darkness.

Giving myself willingly over is required, an impossible requirement I resist each grueling day. Choosing light and peace feels less obvious with each torturous minute.I ignore the growing rage in my belly. The metal door swings open, revealing my captor, a sickening smile plastered on his green skinned face.

“You look well rested.” He mocks, sitting behind me, making me paranoid.

I resist squirming during the long passing silence, instead bracing for inevitable pain. It doesn’t come.

“What did you dream about? Brother.”

I tense, refusing an answer and knowing excruciating punishment awaits. Fearsome purge troopers enter the freezing room, carrying crackling electrobatons. The usual three approach while engaged in lively conversation, ignoring their unpleasant purpose, to my relief.

“I asked you a question, Brother.” Fifth Brother speaks again, threats dripping from his innocent words.

The purge troopers cease speaking, brandishing their deadly weapons, awaiting my reply. I clench my teeth together. One outcome awaits. The first trooper presses his electrified baton forward, contacting my bare torso.

An animalistic scream rips through my parched throat, echoing against the sturdy concrete walls. The pain stops, but the aftereffects leave my abused body twitching. I’m sickened that the heat of the electrobaton soothes my freezing exposed skin. That I find temporary relief in my suffering.

As the buzzing wears off, the second trooper jabs his weapon forward, making contact. Every muscle tenses and my head whips back, my rigid body shakes from the high voltage. I gasp, desperate for air, but pain shoots through my nerves as the third trooper lunges forward, a sadistic laugh cutting the air.

Fifth Brother is patient, allowing each to indulge in inflicting pain on my tired form. Once sated, they stand back, awaiting the next round of questions that I will resist against my self preservation.

“I quite enjoy watching you suffer. However, I have news that will wait until you answer my question.”

I lick my chapped lips, weighing the presented options. The troopers hold position while I stare at the stained concrete floor.

“What news?” I ask, knowing I sealed my fate.

The purge troopers leap forward together, an electrobaton contacting my chest and each thigh. I hear someone else screaming, my brain exiting my body, pulling me far from the extreme suffering.

The pain stops and I barely hear the question that follows.

“What did you dream about?”

“I didn’t dream.” I say.

“Think harder Brother, you did dream.”

I scrunch my teary eyes closed, trying hard to remember. The faded memory won’t show, blocked by my subconscious desire to remain true to the light side.

White hot pain shoots through my fatigued muscles, my teeth pressed hard against one another. Some dark entity claws from the depths of my weakening mind, something power hungry. Pain overwhelms my resistance as electricity surges, drawing forth the hate. Memories of life draining from their eyes, my powerful fist clenched tight.

The pain stops, my breath left shallow and ragged. The loud silence feels worse than the torture, the calm before the storm. A controllable storm I can end through willing submission.

“Perhaps you will share the news of your kin tomorrow.”

Worry flickers in my eyes, betraying my earnest refusal. Fifth Brother catches the expression as he circles the soiled interrogation chair.

“This intrigues you?”

A single nod, determining my fate.

“Last chance Brother.”

My parted lips suck in chilled air. “I was killing the purge troopers.”

“How?”

“The Force.” A beat of silence. “I strangled them before they could hurt me.”

“What emotions did you feel?”

“Fear, rage, hate.” I admit, knowing I am fighting a losing battle.

Fifth Brother shows his white teeth, a fearsome attempt at grinning. He waves the purge troopers away, leaning against a nearby steel table. I hold my breath, knowing that Fifth Brother is a greater threat than high voltage weaponry.

“Excellent, you are learning quickly. You will walk alongside your fellow brothers and sisters soon. The woman you foolishly impregnated has finally risen from her hospital bed. Thirteenth has surely collected her, though you have more claim to her than he. After all, it is your child she carries.”

Anger flows through my veins at his name, knowing he poisons her against me. Images of the night with her flashes before my eyes, pulling me briefly to safety. My brain allows the intimate scene to replay without guilt gnawing at my insides.

Sparks tingle along my skin as her rear brushed the front of my trousers in the small kitchen. My eyes scanning her ample cleavage while I shared a story over dinner. The subject of the story lost to time, but her dilated pupils etched into my mind.

I spent countless nights rocking myself into my hand. Silently calling out her name into the darkened bedroom, wanting to hear her call mine. Desires to taste her, run my hands over her smooth skin, feel her clench around me.

The blissful evening overwhelmed me and I moved too quickly, forgot to savor the exquisite gift she provided. I forgot to care for her pleasure, despite imaging it nearly every night. Regrettably, I severely hurt her the following morning, as my selfishness did not stop.

Plagued by guilt and nightmares; nightly dreams of my old Master, lecturing on the danger of attachments. The difficult nightmares haunted me from the moment she became my girlfriend. Lustful thoughts led to vivid memories while I restlessly slept. I pulled away when the dreams were worse, unable to explain my unpredictable hesitation. She was kinder than I deserve, never asking for answers, and providing endless understanding.

The pursuit of light led to suffering despite the promise of the opposite. I hadn’t completed my training, lessons surely lost with the fall of the Jedi Order. Perhaps living between worlds was my downfall; never fully giving myself to love or the Jedi teachings, choosing to live halfway between both.

I loved her, but feared the repercussions of my Master at night. I still love her, but could not face those feelings, even in finding out I had fathered the child inside her belly. Still never fully committing to her, instead of loving her and the potential of family, I treated her as another duty.

“Once you have accepted your new title, you may stake your claim, though it would be wise to rebuild your strength before facing Thirteenth. I will help train you to take back what is truly yours. The only way is through the power and strength granted to us through darkness.”

Negative emotions overwhelm me, but I keep my hollow face determined. I could not love her when striving for light. The Dark Side provides an escape from the guilt of the old ways, a chance at redemption and the guidance needed to be the man I must for my new family.

Never will she know an unsatisfactory night. Her pleasure will always come before my own. Our relationship has become my priority, constantly on my mind between the darkening thoughts of my new dreams. I will have her again.

“Thirteenth doesn’t share his toys, but he is much weaker than before. Love blinds our Brother, his distracted state provides an opportunity for your success. But you are not yet ready. You cannot achieve what you desire when you are still weak. Accept the everlasting power of the Dark Side and take back what is rightfully yours.”

I gawk, coming back to myself, remembering the knowledge that forceful measures will not secure my desires. I shake my head, rejecting Fifth Brother’s sinister words.

“You agree that more suffering is required to unlock your true potential. You have shown promising progress on becoming the Fourteenth Brother.”

Fifth Brother exits the room, leaving the purge troopers in his place. I grit my teeth for the next round, each painful moment bringing me closer to her.

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Next Chapter: The Way You Dress Him