Fan Prize Story #3: Finding the Way Back Chapter II
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Chapter Summary
You must battle to save Cal.
Rating: 18+
Words: 2.3K
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You move through the thick jungle, equally grateful and terrified that the creatures living here have left you alone thus far. Unfortunately, suspicion remains and burrows further in your mind. The danger in the trees remains uninterested, surely for a sinister reason.
Your past lover bode his time too. His choice was careful and calculated, waiting to report your secret. He was right to wait or you would have fled before the Empire got its blood-soaked hands on you.
Instead, he loved you, provided you with a home, kissed you, made empty promises, and waited for your walls to go down. Then he showed his true nature, betraying your relationship. You barely escaped with your life, shaken and confused.
You glance at the treetops, silently pleading with the foe from high above to come down and fight. The reassurance in immediate malicious intent would soothe your anxieties, but the attack never comes.
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You continue your journey, aiming for where Cal should have been, hoping to track him. Cal is much stronger than you, which improves his chances of survival, easing your worry.
If he’s hurt, the return journey will prove challenging. Meaning a longer trek alone and uninterrupted with Cal.
You’ve been trying to avoid alone time with the obscenely attractive man. It doesn’t stop Cal from cornering you when you’re exiting the refresher, standing all too close, trying to have an entire conversation before you head to bed.
Anymore, you time your showers, waiting until Cal is meditating or locked in conversation. Most time you shower and return before he’s noticed, but sometimes he’s faster. You want him so badly, but after what happened…you won’t risk getting too close again.
Cal is oblivious to how his nearness affects you, making your brain cloud with the possibility of leaning in and raising your chin, silently asking him to slot his body against yours. But you stay true to yourself, not chancing the pain of love again.
Thoughts of kissing him enter your curious mind, wondering what he might feel like, how he might hold you. Would his full lips be as soft as they look? Would he pull you firm against him or encapsulate your body against the wall, showing his strength and size?
You squash the unnecessary fantasy. “It’s fine…we just work together. It’s better that way.”
You remind yourself this is a dangerous retrieval mission, not a date. “Get in, grab Cal, get out, easy.”
There’s bent flora at the edge of the path, the remnant of an alternate and freshly created trail leading south. Cal passed through here, you’re sure of it.
You charge forward a few steps, then stop dead, reminding yourself to stay vigilant. Creeping forward, looking for each suggestion of Cal’s traversal. In only a few steps, you approach an enormous drop, peeking over the deadly edge.
There are deep gashes in the soil. Someone fell here, grasping at the loose dirt: Cal. You celebrate having kept a level head, grateful you did not join him at the bottom.
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Strategically, you pick your way down a different and less steep path until you stand at the base of the cliff. You hear something, something huge, moving through the jungle to your right. Then you hear a yell, Cal’s voice.
Despite your restraint, the pain in his cry shuts off your own need for self preservation and you run straight towards the sound. Entering a clearing and seeing a huge white wyyyschokk bearing down on the man. He’s fighting with only one blade activated. His left hand pressed firmly against his thigh.
Cal swings his saber, trying to ward off the giant beast, but it seems to know who has the upper hand.
You run forward yelling as you activate your lightsaber. “Kriff, Cal!”
Cal looks up, but the wyyyschokk does not. You leap into the air, aiming for the round abdomen of the creature. Time slows down as you attack, watching your weapon draw closer to mortally injuring the enemy.
But something tugs at your mind, telling you to abandon the maneuver. You have the upper hand here. The wyyyschokk focuses on Cal, and you are so close to killing it. Cal yells something but you can’t hear him. The sound of blood pumping in your ears deafens you.
The disgusting creature turns suddenly, two of its legs pinching you between them and throwing you hard against the forest floor. “Ah!”
Its horrid mouth snaps at you, moving towards your neck. Your pinned arms make your weapon useless. You try to escape its grasp, wriggling to no avail.
It’s over, you’ve lost.
The filthy thing lurches toward you, only there is no pain of a bite. It collapses down, dead, onto your body, its legs curling, enveloping your lower half. Cal kicks it onto its side and you wiggle away, terror pricking at your spine from the encounter.
“Are you okay? Please tell me you aren’t hurt too!”
You look up at Cal and see red blood pour from an open wound on his leg. BD jumps from Cal’s back and scans the albino wyyyschokk as Cal offers you his hand, grunting as he pulls you to your feet.
You dust yourself off, suppressing a shudder. “I- I’m fine. Are you okay?”
You face heats; you were trying to save Cal, but he ended up saving you. Shame gnaws at you, but the fear of Cal’s injury redirects the negative feelings.
Cal shrugs. “I’m not great, but I’ll make it. BD ran out of stims.”
BD returns to Cal’s back with the help of an outstretched arm. The little droid boops sadly at the words.
Cal turns his head to look at BD. “It’s okay buddy, you did great out there.”
You glance at Cal’s hand, pressing tight against the wound. “How bad is it?”
He gives you a half smile. “I’m not sure I can stand much longer.”
You run forward to support his weight as he slips an arm over your shoulders. “Oh! Let me help you.”
Cal takes the weight off his leg and you help him hobble to the base of a humongous trunk. He leans against the bark, sliding down until he sits, his legs outstretched.
He closes his eyes. “I just need to rest a bit. I’ll be able to walk again soon. Just might be slow.”
You sigh, throwing down the supply bag. “It’s getting late, we probably don’t want to be wandering Kashyyyk’s forests at night…”
Cal presses his lips together. “Yeah, you’re right. If you help me, I can probably walk.”
He moves to stand and you press him back down. “No, Cal! It’s okay, we’ll camp here. I brought supplies.”
Cal looks at the giant corpse. “Here?”
You grimace. “It’s creepy, but yeah, the body will probably keep predators away, think something bigger killed it…”
Cal doesn’t pull his gaze from the spider. “True…but it’ll attract scavengers…”
You nod. “Right. I’ll move it to the edge of the clearing. You know, two stormtroopers, one shot…”
You work on using the Force to push the spider to the far edge of the clearing. Along the way, you spot what you suspect are eggs, and dispose of them with your lightsaber.
As you return to Cal, you open the supply bag, pulling out what you need to treat the wound. “Here, let me bandage it.”
Cal smiles, his jade eyes sparkling. “Thanks.”
You hesitate. “It’s not…you weren’t bitten, were you?”
His eyebrows furrow. “By the wyyyschokk? No. No, this is from falling. I slipped and fell into its territory, just fall damage.”
You let out a breath. “That’s good news…because I don’t have anti-venom.”
Cal chuckles. “Let’s try not to get bit by anything, then.”
You pour antiseptic over the wound and he winces. “Agreed.”
After bandaging Cal, and trying with all your might not to look up into his face, you stand. Your face feels hot from the feeling of his eyes on you the entire time.
“Um…stay here. I’ll gather some wood to start a fire.”
Cal’s face pinches, restraining laughter. “You sure? I was planning on going for a little stroll.”
You both laugh, and you shyly look away. The laughter subsides and you head off into the forest to find wood and clear your mind.
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Cal looks over at you. The warm glow from the crackling fire reflecting off his eyes. “You know, I’ve cleared out this base before, for Saw Gererra a few years ago. It’s disappointing that the Empire moved back in.”
You give him a sympathetic smile. “Maybe after losing twice they’ll give up…”
“The Empire never gives up…”
“Yeah…”
You stare into the flames, struck by his words. There is a beat of silence as you both digest the same knowledge.
Cal breaks the silence first. “I know we’ve been traveling together for a few months, but I don’t really know your story. I don’t think we crossed paths before the Purge.”
Your eyes widen. “Oh! Sorry about that!”
He matches your mild panic. “Don’t be! It’s hard to talk about the past. I don’t want to pressure you.”
You speak too fast. “No, you’re fine.”
You wish you would have thought out your response better. Speaking about your past feels worse than having lived through it. But you’ve been too eager to appease him, and now you have to speak. You draw in a long breath through your nose, setting aside the anxiety of sharing, then sigh out the air.
“I was older than you when it happened. I had barely been knighted when they attacked.” You close your eyes and wince. “Managed to escape with a few others, but they were killed off one by one.”
Cal’s voice is soft. “I’m sorry…”
You open your eyes. “I tried to protect them…the younglings and padawans…” Tears gather. “But…”
Cal’s eyes burn into your peripheral. “It’s okay, I know.”
You meet his gaze. “But you made it, and you were only a padawan.”
“I got lucky.”
You gesture around. “Is this lucky?”
You both share a chuckle, no longer watching the other, but staring into the flames.
“We’re making a difference.”
“It doesn’t feel like it.”
Cal lowers his voice. “No, but every little bit helps. If we stop fighting, then we aren’t paving the way for others to succeed.”
You don’t respond immediately, weighing the next words. “There was a time I stopped fighting.”
“What happened?”
“It was after a few years of being on the run. I, uh, tried to settle down.”
You offer a silent prayer that he won’t ask follow-up questions. But as with your previous prayers, the heavens ignore it.
“What do you mean?”
You wrinkle your forehead, eyes closed, as though not seeing his reaction will prevent the shame. “I met someone…I know it’s against the Order to form attachments, but I was so tired of being alone and scared.”
“The Order doesn’t exist anymore…what happened?”
His nonchalant response startles you. “It was good for a few years, very, uh, domestic.”
He smiles, though it looks like he’s biting back laughter. “After seeing you in action, I have a hard time picturing you being domestic.”
Neither of you can restrain yourselves, friendly laughter making the jungle feel less threatening. You sober first, remembering the good parts of your old relationship. “It’s easy when you’re in love.”
You look down at Cal’s touch: his hand rests atop yours, giving you a gentle squeeze. “What happened to him?”
“He’s dead.”
Cal squeezes tighter, offering support to your pain. “I’m so sorry that-”
You cut him off, your voice cold and venomous. “Don’t be. I killed him.”
His grip loosens a tiny amount, alerting you he isn’t sure how to respond. You continue, voice soured from the words that pour out of your mouth. “He seemed to forget that he ever loved me. We were poor, and he became greedy. He saw a ransom for Jedi, and…”
Cal pulls his hand back to his body in a flash, as though he might hit something. Rage painted onto his features. “He turned you in? For credits?”
A few tears fall from your eyes, and you wipe them with the pads of your fingers. Cal looks like he might either pull you into a hug or run off to kill your ex-lover a second time. “How could he do that to you? Claim to love you…then-”
“It’s my fault, I-”
“That’s not true!”
Silence follows the angry outburst, something screeches in the distance, both your heads turn in anticipation. Nothing comes into sight.
“Cal…I missed all the signs.”
“You were in love, you couldn’t be expected to-”
You raise your voice to be heard over his protests. “That is precisely why the old Order didn’t allow attachments. I became blind to the truth.”
“You trusted someone who you thought cared for you. That isn’t a crime.”
“Maybe…but I was meditating daily then, and the Force didn’t inform me…”
Cal thinks for a moment. “Is that why you don’t meditate anymore?”
“I can’t trust in the Force anymore. Not after…everything.”
“I see…”
You know now that your lack of trust in the Force is hurting him. He has always been so loyal to it, meditating at all opportunities, focusing himself on becoming a good Jedi. You won’t try to tear down his beliefs. He doesn’t need to be brought down to your level. “I’m kind of tired. We should call it a night. We have a long walk back tomorrow.”
Cal nods, laying back on his sleeping pad. There is a look of sorrow in his eyes. “Right, goodnight.”
You roll, facing away from him. “Goodnight.”
You both lay there, a few feet apart, listening to the forest and the sound of the other breathing. “It wasn’t your fault for not knowing.”
You don’t respond aloud, but your eyes react, tears streaming down your face until sleep overtakes you.
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You move through the thick jungle, equally grateful and terrified that the creatures living here have left you alone thus far. Unfortunately, suspicion remains and burrows further in your mind. The danger in the trees remains uninterested, surely for a sinister reason.
Your past lover bode his time too. His choice was careful and calculated, waiting to report your secret. He was right to wait or you would have fled before the Empire got its blood-soaked hands on you.
Instead, he loved you, provided you with a home, kissed you, made empty promises, and waited for your walls to go down. Then he showed his true nature, betraying your relationship. You barely escaped with your life, shaken and confused.
You glance at the treetops, silently pleading with the foe from high above to come down and fight. The reassurance in immediate malicious intent would soothe your anxieties, but the attack never comes.
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You continue your journey, aiming for where Cal should have been, hoping to track him. Cal is much stronger than you, which improves his chances of survival, easing your worry.
If he’s hurt, the return journey will prove challenging. Meaning a longer trek alone and uninterrupted with Cal.
You’ve been trying to avoid alone time with the obscenely attractive man. It doesn’t stop Cal from cornering you when you’re exiting the refresher, standing all too close, trying to have an entire conversation before you head to bed.
Anymore, you time your showers, waiting until Cal is meditating or locked in conversation. Most time you shower and return before he’s noticed, but sometimes he’s faster. You want him so badly, but after what happened…you won’t risk getting too close again.
Cal is oblivious to how his nearness affects you, making your brain cloud with the possibility of leaning in and raising your chin, silently asking him to slot his body against yours. But you stay true to yourself, not chancing the pain of love again.
Thoughts of kissing him enter your curious mind, wondering what he might feel like, how he might hold you. Would his full lips be as soft as they look? Would he pull you firm against him or encapsulate your body against the wall, showing his strength and size?
You squash the unnecessary fantasy. “It’s fine…we just work together. It’s better that way.”
You remind yourself this is a dangerous retrieval mission, not a date. “Get in, grab Cal, get out, easy.”
There’s bent flora at the edge of the path, the remnant of an alternate and freshly created trail leading south. Cal passed through here, you’re sure of it.
You charge forward a few steps, then stop dead, reminding yourself to stay vigilant. Creeping forward, looking for each suggestion of Cal’s traversal. In only a few steps, you approach an enormous drop, peeking over the deadly edge.
There are deep gashes in the soil. Someone fell here, grasping at the loose dirt: Cal. You celebrate having kept a level head, grateful you did not join him at the bottom.
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Strategically, you pick your way down a different and less steep path until you stand at the base of the cliff. You hear something, something huge, moving through the jungle to your right. Then you hear a yell, Cal’s voice.
Despite your restraint, the pain in his cry shuts off your own need for self preservation and you run straight towards the sound. Entering a clearing and seeing a huge white wyyyschokk bearing down on the man. He’s fighting with only one blade activated. His left hand pressed firmly against his thigh.
Cal swings his saber, trying to ward off the giant beast, but it seems to know who has the upper hand.
You run forward yelling as you activate your lightsaber. “Kriff, Cal!”
Cal looks up, but the wyyyschokk does not. You leap into the air, aiming for the round abdomen of the creature. Time slows down as you attack, watching your weapon draw closer to mortally injuring the enemy.
But something tugs at your mind, telling you to abandon the maneuver. You have the upper hand here. The wyyyschokk focuses on Cal, and you are so close to killing it. Cal yells something but you can’t hear him. The sound of blood pumping in your ears deafens you.
The disgusting creature turns suddenly, two of its legs pinching you between them and throwing you hard against the forest floor. “Ah!”
Its horrid mouth snaps at you, moving towards your neck. Your pinned arms make your weapon useless. You try to escape its grasp, wriggling to no avail.
It’s over, you’ve lost.
The filthy thing lurches toward you, only there is no pain of a bite. It collapses down, dead, onto your body, its legs curling, enveloping your lower half. Cal kicks it onto its side and you wiggle away, terror pricking at your spine from the encounter.
“Are you okay? Please tell me you aren’t hurt too!”
You look up at Cal and see red blood pour from an open wound on his leg. BD jumps from Cal’s back and scans the albino wyyyschokk as Cal offers you his hand, grunting as he pulls you to your feet.
You dust yourself off, suppressing a shudder. “I- I’m fine. Are you okay?”
You face heats; you were trying to save Cal, but he ended up saving you. Shame gnaws at you, but the fear of Cal’s injury redirects the negative feelings.
Cal shrugs. “I’m not great, but I’ll make it. BD ran out of stims.”
BD returns to Cal’s back with the help of an outstretched arm. The little droid boops sadly at the words.
Cal turns his head to look at BD. “It’s okay buddy, you did great out there.”
You glance at Cal’s hand, pressing tight against the wound. “How bad is it?”
He gives you a half smile. “I’m not sure I can stand much longer.”
You run forward to support his weight as he slips an arm over your shoulders. “Oh! Let me help you.”
Cal takes the weight off his leg and you help him hobble to the base of a humongous trunk. He leans against the bark, sliding down until he sits, his legs outstretched.
He closes his eyes. “I just need to rest a bit. I’ll be able to walk again soon. Just might be slow.”
You sigh, throwing down the supply bag. “It’s getting late, we probably don’t want to be wandering Kashyyyk’s forests at night…”
Cal presses his lips together. “Yeah, you’re right. If you help me, I can probably walk.”
He moves to stand and you press him back down. “No, Cal! It’s okay, we’ll camp here. I brought supplies.”
Cal looks at the giant corpse. “Here?”
You grimace. “It’s creepy, but yeah, the body will probably keep predators away, think something bigger killed it…”
Cal doesn’t pull his gaze from the spider. “True…but it’ll attract scavengers…”
You nod. “Right. I’ll move it to the edge of the clearing. You know, two stormtroopers, one shot…”
You work on using the Force to push the spider to the far edge of the clearing. Along the way, you spot what you suspect are eggs, and dispose of them with your lightsaber.
As you return to Cal, you open the supply bag, pulling out what you need to treat the wound. “Here, let me bandage it.”
Cal smiles, his jade eyes sparkling. “Thanks.”
You hesitate. “It’s not…you weren’t bitten, were you?”
His eyebrows furrow. “By the wyyyschokk? No. No, this is from falling. I slipped and fell into its territory, just fall damage.”
You let out a breath. “That’s good news…because I don’t have anti-venom.”
Cal chuckles. “Let’s try not to get bit by anything, then.”
You pour antiseptic over the wound and he winces. “Agreed.”
After bandaging Cal, and trying with all your might not to look up into his face, you stand. Your face feels hot from the feeling of his eyes on you the entire time.
“Um…stay here. I’ll gather some wood to start a fire.”
Cal’s face pinches, restraining laughter. “You sure? I was planning on going for a little stroll.”
You both laugh, and you shyly look away. The laughter subsides and you head off into the forest to find wood and clear your mind.
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Cal looks over at you. The warm glow from the crackling fire reflecting off his eyes. “You know, I’ve cleared out this base before, for Saw Gererra a few years ago. It’s disappointing that the Empire moved back in.”
You give him a sympathetic smile. “Maybe after losing twice they’ll give up…”
“The Empire never gives up…”
“Yeah…”
You stare into the flames, struck by his words. There is a beat of silence as you both digest the same knowledge.
Cal breaks the silence first. “I know we’ve been traveling together for a few months, but I don’t really know your story. I don’t think we crossed paths before the Purge.”
Your eyes widen. “Oh! Sorry about that!”
He matches your mild panic. “Don’t be! It’s hard to talk about the past. I don’t want to pressure you.”
You speak too fast. “No, you’re fine.”
You wish you would have thought out your response better. Speaking about your past feels worse than having lived through it. But you’ve been too eager to appease him, and now you have to speak. You draw in a long breath through your nose, setting aside the anxiety of sharing, then sigh out the air.
“I was older than you when it happened. I had barely been knighted when they attacked.” You close your eyes and wince. “Managed to escape with a few others, but they were killed off one by one.”
Cal’s voice is soft. “I’m sorry…”
You open your eyes. “I tried to protect them…the younglings and padawans…” Tears gather. “But…”
Cal’s eyes burn into your peripheral. “It’s okay, I know.”
You meet his gaze. “But you made it, and you were only a padawan.”
“I got lucky.”
You gesture around. “Is this lucky?”
You both share a chuckle, no longer watching the other, but staring into the flames.
“We’re making a difference.”
“It doesn’t feel like it.”
Cal lowers his voice. “No, but every little bit helps. If we stop fighting, then we aren’t paving the way for others to succeed.”
You don’t respond immediately, weighing the next words. “There was a time I stopped fighting.”
“What happened?”
“It was after a few years of being on the run. I, uh, tried to settle down.”
You offer a silent prayer that he won’t ask follow-up questions. But as with your previous prayers, the heavens ignore it.
“What do you mean?”
You wrinkle your forehead, eyes closed, as though not seeing his reaction will prevent the shame. “I met someone…I know it’s against the Order to form attachments, but I was so tired of being alone and scared.”
“The Order doesn’t exist anymore…what happened?”
His nonchalant response startles you. “It was good for a few years, very, uh, domestic.”
He smiles, though it looks like he’s biting back laughter. “After seeing you in action, I have a hard time picturing you being domestic.”
Neither of you can restrain yourselves, friendly laughter making the jungle feel less threatening. You sober first, remembering the good parts of your old relationship. “It’s easy when you’re in love.”
You look down at Cal’s touch: his hand rests atop yours, giving you a gentle squeeze. “What happened to him?”
“He’s dead.”
Cal squeezes tighter, offering support to your pain. “I’m so sorry that-”
You cut him off, your voice cold and venomous. “Don’t be. I killed him.”
His grip loosens a tiny amount, alerting you he isn’t sure how to respond. You continue, voice soured from the words that pour out of your mouth. “He seemed to forget that he ever loved me. We were poor, and he became greedy. He saw a ransom for Jedi, and…”
Cal pulls his hand back to his body in a flash, as though he might hit something. Rage painted onto his features. “He turned you in? For credits?”
A few tears fall from your eyes, and you wipe them with the pads of your fingers. Cal looks like he might either pull you into a hug or run off to kill your ex-lover a second time. “How could he do that to you? Claim to love you…then-”
“It’s my fault, I-”
“That’s not true!”
Silence follows the angry outburst, something screeches in the distance, both your heads turn in anticipation. Nothing comes into sight.
“Cal…I missed all the signs.”
“You were in love, you couldn’t be expected to-”
You raise your voice to be heard over his protests. “That is precisely why the old Order didn’t allow attachments. I became blind to the truth.”
“You trusted someone who you thought cared for you. That isn’t a crime.”
“Maybe…but I was meditating daily then, and the Force didn’t inform me…”
Cal thinks for a moment. “Is that why you don’t meditate anymore?”
“I can’t trust in the Force anymore. Not after…everything.”
“I see…”
You know now that your lack of trust in the Force is hurting him. He has always been so loyal to it, meditating at all opportunities, focusing himself on becoming a good Jedi. You won’t try to tear down his beliefs. He doesn’t need to be brought down to your level. “I’m kind of tired. We should call it a night. We have a long walk back tomorrow.”
Cal nods, laying back on his sleeping pad. There is a look of sorrow in his eyes. “Right, goodnight.”
You roll, facing away from him. “Goodnight.”
You both lay there, a few feet apart, listening to the forest and the sound of the other breathing. “It wasn’t your fault for not knowing.”
You don’t respond aloud, but your eyes react, tears streaming down your face until sleep overtakes you.
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