ARCHIVED TWHLAY I:XII
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The Way He Looks at You Series
Act I: The Way He Looks at You
Chapter 12: The Way He Cares for You
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Story Master List: The Way He Looks at You Series
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Cal opens the door to the empty hallway. It feels so cold here, so different from the safety of his quarters. Making you want to turn and run back, but the threat of being away from Cal feels worse than following him through the foreboding building. You lower your gaze to stare at Cal’s boots as he walks ahead of you. You’d rather not see anything but your protector.
Cal leads you as his boots noisily echo through the halls, you examine his them closely, wondering if the ones he provides you will be similar in fashion. The boots feel ominous; rigid black leather with silver embellishments. While you have nothing against silver, the metal doesn’t help the overall icy aura that Inquisitors exude. You don’t want to give off the same icy presence but it would make sense to wear something sturdy since you will accompany him on missions. While you hope you won’t face any dangerous situations, it is better to be prepared with good shoes to run in.
You glance at your own worn boots, they need to be replaced but you will miss them. They have carried you through so many missions and memories; you aren’t sure why Cal let you keep them. He probably didn’t sense any specific memories tied to them, there are too many memories for just one to attach.
Your mind drifts from thoughts of new boots to thoughts of new clothes. You don’t mind wearing Cal’s clothes but it would be nice to have some of your own clothes to wear around his quarters. The dress he bought is rather sexy, but not exactly great to relax in, you risk exposing yourself every time you bend over. Thinking about it, that is probably the reason Cal bought it for you.
There are so many frivolous thoughts in your head that you accidentally run into Cal when he stops walking in front of you. He turns and his hand shoots out to grab and shove you backwards. You don’t see his face because of the hood but you are sure he probably shot a warning look.
The motion looked aggressive and impatient, but when Cal’s fingers wrapped around your arm, there was no pain. He was careful to hold you with kindness, though he still had to push you backwards a couple steps. You stumble but he doesn’t let you go until he is sure you have your footing again.
“Thirteenth! I suppose you are on your way out. I expect it will go well.” The familiar voice of Fifth Brother rings out front across the large room. His boots click across the tile in your direction.
“Is that the same girl from before? I thought you would have already disposed of her.” He laughs.
“As I explained before Fifth Brother, her life is now mine to keep.” Cal spits back.
“I comprehend that Brother, I am simply surprised that you would waste your time keeping her alive when you could use her then end her miserable existence.” Fifth retorts, “You aren’t falling in love are you?”
You freeze at the question, unsure how Cal can respond. It is problematic that he not only cares for you but that you may also provide him with children. There will have to be some admission of his feelings for you. Though you are worried that they forbid it and they’ll take you away as punishment.
“Would it matter? Should I not have what I want, Brother? I seek to have a distraction at the end of each day. Her presence encourages my work to be done with great efficiency so that I may find solace in her body. Would you prefer to be alone with your thoughts when you are not working?” Cal sneers.
Fifth Brother is silent for a moment, likely mulling over Cal’s words. “I see, perhaps that is not such a bad idea, I could use a bed warmer. I loathe to care for them, and they aren’t much fun when they receive no care.”
“It seems you have quite the predicament, Fifth.” Cal says.
“Yes, it would seem that way. You seem fit to care for them, perhaps I can borrow yours while you are away on your mission. You won’t need her while you are gone, I can keep her busy.” His voice sounds dangerous.
“Ah, yes. However, I would not sow the seeds and freely give away what I reap. I am rather selfish, you see.” Cal’s voice is dripping with poison.
Fifth only laughs at Cal’s words, finding the interaction to be favorable. “Brother, you always amuse me. I will not touch your pretty pet. However, if you tire of her, my quarters are open.”
“Of course, I must be leaving now, there is much to do, more lives to snuff out.” Cal says calmly.
“Good Brother, well wishes, I look forward to your return.” Fifth says.
There is no further exchange of words as Cal walks towards the large doors leading to the windy bridge overseeing the city. You stay close on his heels but as you pass the Fifth Brother you notice he is leaning down to see under your hood. He catches your eye and gives you a wicked smile. You feel extremely unnerved by the interaction and rush to stay close to Cal.
The doors open and the wind immediately whips around you both, to reach to tug your hood down to prevent it from flying off. You don’t want to be seen anymore than you already have. You barely hear the doors automatically closing behind you over the sounds of whistling wind. It is such an intense noise and uncomfortable feeling that you grit your teeth trying to get through this horrible part of the journey to Cal’s ship.
You feel immediately at ease as you follow Cal up the ramp to the Scythe. Though you find it funny that you feel relief to be following an Inquisitor onto his ship, something that would have struck terror into your heart just a few days ago. Once the ship door closes, you remove your hood and look around the small space; you take your seat behind Cal, slightly to his left. You strap yourself in and Cal says nothing as he inputs coordinates and pilots the craft into hyperspace.
Once you are safely traveling you speak up, “Is Fifth Brother going to hurt me?”
Cal finishes setting up autopilot before rotating his seat so that he may answer your question. “Only if he seeks a quick death.”
You give Cal a frustrated look, “It’s just that the way he looks at me makes me feel like he is waiting until you aren’t around.”
Cal softens his expression, “I am aware of how he looks at you, I dislike it as well. There is a strong possibility that he may try something with you.”
You frown, knowing Cal is only being honest, but wishing it weren’t true.
“If he touches you, I will remove his hands. I wish there was more I could do to prevent this. But I cannot attack him without reason, or I risk you being taken from me.” Cal says with a sigh. He raises his fingers to his face and rubs his temples.
Obviously the situation is causing him more stress than it is causing you fear. You release your restraints and stand before approaching Cal’s seat.
“May I?” You ask and reach your hands towards his head.
He stops the self massage and gives you a curious look. You place your fingertips gently on Cal’s head, gently massaging soft circles across his scalp. His eyes flutter closed at your touch. You rub your fingers through his hair, trying to get down the roots to avoid pulling his hair while you work. Cal lets out a long groan and his hands find the backs of your thigh, pulling you close to straddle his lap.
You adjust yourself so that you can get a good angle to continue your work. Rubbing firmly at the thin muscles above the corner of his ears and Cal folds over to rest his head against your breasts. You smile at his willingness to be vulnerable in your presence.
Cal makes soft noises of pleasure as you touch him and you chuckle since he seems to like this more than sex. You can’t blame him, during sex he still is working, but now he can enjoy an additional pleasure without having to use more energy. He has taken such good care of your pleasure and you want to return the favor. You are pleased to do this for him.
Once the muscles relax, you move to a new spot, wrapping your hands behind his head to press at the area where his neck meets the base of his skull. He lets out another loud groan and you bite back a laugh. You rub firmly along the chords of his neck, interspersed with circular motions at the top.
“Fifth is an idiot.” Cal mumbles against your chest.
“What makes you say that?” You ask and continue to work out the knots.
“He is missing out on having someone be kind to him, all because he isn’t willing to care for the basic needs of another.” Cal complains.
“I don’t want to jump to Fifth’s defense, but I want to point out that you are doing more than just caring for my basic needs.” You quietly respond.
Cal snorts, “Hardly, I kidnapped you and tricked you into wanting me. You own nothing except what you are currently wearing.”
“Yes, but you intend to provide more clothing, and said that you want me to buy possessions of my own. Also, you held me while I cried, and even provided me with multiple opportunities to leave.” You try to ease Cal’s concerns.
He lifts his head and looks into your eyes, inches from your own face. “You stayed because I threatened to kill those you care for.”
You blink back at him for a moment. He is right, that was a large part of why you stayed, but maybe there was more. Your fingers pause their movements as you think.
After a moment, you take a breath then speak. “I’m not sure I could have stayed if you were different. If you treated me with cruelty and spite, I would likely have left and attempted to save who I could before you found them. But Cal, you have been kind to me. While I hate what you must do, I stay because of the man that you are. I hope to see more of that man.”
Cal looks back and forth between your eyes, trying to read further into your response, he finally nods, accepting your answer. He lets out a sigh and pulls back to lean against his seat. Your hands falling away from his head. “I do not deserve the understanding that you have given me.”
You sit there awkwardly, unsure how to respond. He clearly does not believe your words in full. You think over his message in silence. Understanding what he means, you are currently on a mission with him. It is likely that more will lose their lives at his hands, and you will accept him upon his return. Perhaps you provide too much understanding as Cal believes.
“If there was a way out, would you take it?” You ask boldly.
He looks straight at you then drops his gaze in sorrow. “There is no way out.” He says simply.
“I know, but if things change, if an opportunity arose, would you take it?” You ask again.
“That is a dangerous question, I cannot speak on the unlikely downfall of the Empire.” Cal says firmly.
You press your lips together, “I know you can’t answer, I guess I’ll rephrase the question.” You think then ask, “If there is an attack from the Rebellion, will you move me to safety? Far from the battle?”
There is more to your question than what you are saying, but you know neither of you can speak on the matter. You imagine an attack and the two, or more, of you escaping to live normal lives elsewhere.
“Yes.” Cal says, giving you a serious look, “I will not allow your life to be lost in any battle. If the only possibility is to take you far from the place of attack, then I will do so.”
You nod, then another thought crosses your mind and you speak it to break the tension. “This is the reason Fifth Brother is without someone who loves him.” You say with a smile, poking fun.
Cal smiles softly at your words then returns to a dark expression that has a tint of curiosity. “Is that what I have? Someone who loves me?”
You blush and sputter, your entire face feels hot. “I, uh, I-” You barely form a coherent thought.
Cal smirks as he watches you attempt to string together something to respond with. He finally takes pity on you and leans forward to kiss your forehead. “You do not need to answer that question right now.”
You stop panicking but remain bright red. “Yes, Cal.”
“You’ll need to take your seat, we will land momentarily.” Cal says and helps you to your feet.
You take your seat and put the safety straps across your body. Cal takes control of the craft and guides it to the yellow planet below. Your mind thinks about his last question. It had almost slipped out in the shower earlier, but you don’t want to be too brazen with your feelings. You barely know the man and despite choosing to stay for his kindness, it has only been three days. It is unlikely that the feelings are genuine. Surely this is just a byproduct of losing one relationship and jumping into another.
The ship touches down on the moderately busy landing pad as you think through the recent interaction. Cal stands and you follow suit, he takes your hand and leads you down the ramp. The gesture surprised you; he is holding your hand when there could be others nearby who may see. Perhaps it does not matter if the public sees. They would be too fearful to report anything and it is unlikely the other Inquisitors would ask if they saw Cal holding your hand.
You gladly wrap your fingers around his as you step out onto the landing pad and your eyes take a moment to adjust to the bright planet. The sun is reflecting off the sand, and it is almost blinding. There are so many desert planets that you can’t be sure which one Cal has taken you to, so you decide not to investigate further. It is safer to know less in your circumstance. Your heavy cloak feels unnecessary in such heat and you wonder how Cal can withstand the temperature in his uniform.
As the two of you walk across the landing pad, there are many stares and whispers from onlookers. People move to stay out of Cal’s way, and line of sight. Cal ignores them all, heading directly towards the city. His walk exudes confidence and danger, something that you cannot match. You find yourself distinctly aware of how different you must look from one another, despite wearing similar colored clothes.
The buildings lining the street provide shade and the temperature drops significantly, you no longer find your cloak as irritating. Now that you can see without squinting and you intake your surroundings.
The city is nothing special, typical establishments of eateries, cantinas, and various shops. The prospect of exploring on your own excites you. While you like being with Cal, his presence ensures people avoid you. You like interacting with new people and just being treated as another person. Impossible with Cal at your side, you imagine Cal must be rather uncomfortable being an outsider all the time. Being feared means that others will never be genuine, instead they will do and say whatever ensures their safety.
“I need to book us a room then I will leave you to explore, without me.” He throws you a look at the last two words.
You look down and feel guilty, “I’m sorry, it’s not because I want to be away from you.” You attempt to explain.
“You do not need to fret, I understand.” Cal says as he stops in front of a building and opens the door to his left.
Cal ushers you inside first, then looks around briefly before entering the establishment as well. The inside lobby is nice enough. Clean but dimly lit, you suppose everything feels dim after escaping the blazing sun outside.
You look around while staying close to Cal as he gets the keys to the room. The front desk worker looks nervous but is hiding it well enough. He is overusing polite words like “sir” and “please”, it is clear he is trying to ensure that Cal feels everything is up to par.
Cal nods at the man once the transaction is complete, and the man breathes a sigh of relief. The two of you walk up the nearby stairs and Cal slips his arm around your waist. You allow a small smile at the intimate touch and lean into him. Cal guides you to the room and hands you one key. He waits for you to unlock the door, wanting to ensure you will have no trouble finding safety each night that he is away.
The key easily opens the lock and you turn the knob. The door sticks slightly and you have to separate yourself from Cal to use your weight to force it open. Cal frowns at the effort you had to take to open the door and stops you before allowing you to enter the room.
“I’ll request a new room, I don’t want you getting trapped outside, especially if you are being followed.” He turns to leave but you tug on his arm, protesting.
“It’s okay C-. Thirteenth Brother. I can get in, I’ll just start by pushing against it with my body. Here I’ll show you.” You say and pull the door closed then lock it. You take several large paces away from the door and Cal turns to watch what you are doing.
You run for the door as quickly as you can, pretending to be chased. It was only a few days ago that you were a part of the Rebellion; you can escape dangerous situations. As you approach, you seamlessly fit the key into the lock and in one motion you turn the lock and knob before jumping up to throw your body into the door, which immediately opens. Once inside, you repeat the quick maneuver, slamming the door closed and sliding the lock into place.
The lock slides back open a moment later as Cal opens it with his own key. He does not need to use his body to open the door, instead he only firmly pushes it towards you, careful to not hit you. He steps inside and closes and locks the door smoothly.
“I suppose that will do.” He says, clearly trying to hold back a laugh. “Though you look ridiculous.” A smile teases his lips.
You laugh while speaking, “maybe, but if I’m being chased, I don’t think it will really matter.”
Cal only shakes his head, before allowing himself a small chuckle at your actions. “We can keep this room, but I expect you to enter the room quickly every single time you return, regardless if you are being chased.”
You pout in response and grumble your agreement. Cal walks deeper into the room, there is a bed in the center and a bathroom door on the back wall. He inspects every part for any security breaches, spending a lot of time at the window. You watch, taken by how much he cares for your safety. When he finishes, he walks over to you and opens a small pouch on his utility belt. He pulls out some lower valued credits and places them in your hands.
“This should be enough for all your meals while I am gone.” He pulls out more credits and places them on the nearby table, “This is for whatever spending you would like to do in my absence.”
Then he pulls out a large value credit and your eyes bulge, confused what the need would be for that kind of money. Cal presses it firmly into the center of your other palm. “This is in case I do not return, it will be enough to ensure you can leave this planet. Keep it on you, on every mission. I don’t want you to be stuck somewhere if something happens to me.”
“Cal…” you whisper.
He only looks at you. “If I do not return by dawn of the fifth day, do not search for me. Use the credits and leave. If I am alive, I will find you when I am able.”
You nod and attempt to pocket the credits only to realize you have no pockets. You give Cal a look. He thinks for a moment before removing a small pouch from his utility belt. Emptying the contents into another pocket. He then pulls a very thin rope from his belt and wraps it around your waist. He finds the correct length and pinches the marked spot in his fingers.
“Hold the rope please in both hands and keep your hands far apart.” He commands.
You do as he says and hold the rope so that Cal’s fingers are in the middle; you slide your hands so that they are stretching the rope tight and keeping a suitable distance from the spot that is being held in the middle. Cal releases his hand and reaches for his lightsaber.
“Please hold still.” He says and activates the humming red blade. You flinch at the sound and fear fills your mind as you think about the last time you saw a blade that color up close. You take deep breaths trying to remember that you are safe.
Cal brings the tip of the blade to the rope and in a slight movement it drops into two pieces. Cal deactivates the lightsaber the moment he sees the rope falling, clipping it back to his belt. He takes the desired piece and secures it to the pouch and places the credits in a few of the small pockets, separating the intended funds.
He ties a careful series of knots that allow the rope to be tightened and loosened while remaining in a circle. He hands it to you.
“Under your dress, around your waist.” He says.
You reach down to step into the loop and pull it up under your dress, once in position you tighten the rope around your waist, the money safely out of sight. Cal reaches to grab the pouch through the open back of your dress, he pulls it so that it sits above your rear but under the fabric of the skirt. You’ll have to access the credits by pulling the pouch up through the open back. Once everything feels secure and you have time to attempt locating the correct pockets you smile at Cal, letting him know his contraption will work.
“I must leave now, I’ll try to return at night but it is unlikely that I will be able to every time. Explore while the sun is out but be back here before sunset. Take no risks.” Cal says as he looks at you with great concern.
“I’ll do as you say, I’ll be safe.” You say, “Please come back to me.”
You look hopefully up into his eyes and Cal smiles. He wraps his arms around you and pulls you flush against his body. You wrap your arms around his neck and he leans down to kiss you. It is a sweet kiss, one meant to last for the time you are apart.
“I will do everything in my power to return to you as soon as I am able.”
You nod, and Cal reluctantly pulls away and strides out the door, locking it behind him.
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