ARCHIVED TWHLAY I:XIV
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The Way He Looks at You Series
Act I: The Way He Looks at You
Chapter 14: The Way He Returns to You
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You awake the following morning and are disappointed to find that Cal didn’t come back while you were sleeping. Not that you expected him to, you just want to know that he is okay. You had spent the previous evening reading and attempting to fold paper into more ships. However, you are still pretty terrible at it and you couldn’t bear to waste too much of the beautiful paper so you kept folding and smoothing out the same piece. The material sits on the nearby desk, crinkled and softened.
You get up and remake the bed before heading into the bathroom to get ready for the day. The bathroom is acceptable, but it makes you long for Cal’s beautiful shower. Honestly, you just long for Cal. It feels silly to miss him so soon, you still barely know him and it hasn’t even been a full day of his absence.
Dressing in your usual clothes and strapping on your new satchel. You move your food money into the bag but keep the emergency credit in the hidden pouch that Cal assembled.
When you get outside you move out of the doorway to lean against the nearby wall while you let your eyes adjust to the blazing sunlight. A figure slides up and leans on the wall next to you. You raise your hand to shield your eyes so that you can look at the person better. Your heart stops momentarily and then takes off at a race when you see Theo beside you.
“Theo, were you waiting for me?” You ask, surprised to have barely gotten outside before he showed up.
“I was.” He says then swallows. “You can’t stay here, it isn’t safe.”
You tilt your head and lower your hand as your eyes no longer burn. “I’m sure it’s fine. No one is looking for me.” You try to placate Theo.
Theo shakes his head and presses his lips together. Those perfect pink lips, you remember how much you enjoyed kissing him. He was always shy at the first touch but quickly became needy with his kisses. You feel a wave of nerves in your belly as you remember his touch.
“It’s not. I saw the Thirteenth Brother here last night.” He starts.
Your heart leaps at the news and you interrupt before he can continue speaking, “You did? Where?”
Theo gives you a funny look then continues, “He was walking down this street and he seemed distracted. It surprised me he didn’t notice me watching him. He paused when he passed the building you were in and it looked like he was looking for someone in the windows. Then he left, I’m not sure what it was about but I’m worried.”
Your eyes widen and the hint of a smile teases at your lips. Cal was checking in on you, he wanted to make sure you were okay. You wonder how far out of his way he went to confirm that you were safe. Could he hear your thoughts from that distance? You aren’t exactly sure how the Force works but you imagine someone as powerful as Cal could probably feel your presence from the nearby street below your room.
Theo is watching your expression, “You don’t seem as worried as I would have thought.”
“I’m sure that it is a coincidence, there’s no way an Inquisitor would hunt me. Perhaps someone else is staying here who he is looking for.” You try to brush off the situation.
“I hoped for the same thing, but I’ve been watching your building ever since and there is only one other occupied room.” Theo says, he seems desperate to convince you of the danger you are in.
“It must be the other person then, Inquisitors hunt Force users, so there is no reason that he would be after me.” You say.
“Except…” Theo pauses and rubs the bridge of his nose, terrified for you. “Except the other room is on the back of the building, I watched for the lights in their room. The Thirteenth Brother never checked out the back of the building, he only looked at the front and side. Where I assume your room is.”
You chew the inside of your cheek, unsure how to make this go away. “Look, Theo, if he is after me, then that is my problem. You can’t get involved, you mean more to the Rebellion than I do. You need to survive, so leave, if he is after me then you escape and continue the fight. Please, just go.” You beg and turn to walk away.
Theo jogs to catch up, “I won’t just abandon you to the Empire.”
That is the most ironic thing you have ever heard. If only Theo knew you fell into your current circumstance because he abandoned you. You continue walking, hoping Theo will take the hint and leave. He doesn’t and when he realizes you are ignoring him he grabs your arm and spins you to face him, halting your momentum.
“Are you choosing to put yourself in danger because I broke up with you?” His gray eyes pierce yours, searching for an answer in them.
You flinch at the words, your pieced together heart beginning to crack again. “No,” You say, unconvincingly. You shake the weakness from your head and try again. “That is not what I am doing, trust that I am doing what I can to help the cause. Theo, I’m not yours anymore, you can’t try to step in to save me.”
Theo hasn’t let go of your arm, instead sliding them slowly down until your hands are in his. You barely breathe at the feeling of holding his hand again. You should pull away, but you also can’t. “I know I have no say over what you do. But I won’t stand by and allow something bad to happen to you. I care for you, I have since the moment we met. I don’t want to watch anyone suffer at the hands of the Empire.” His voice is much softer than before.
You can only stare back at him, mouth agape. His kindness and ability to speak right into your soul has always captured your heart. Hearing him care for you so openly is making it difficult to think. It is so clear that he still loves you and wants to protect you. A part of you is screaming to go with Theo, to be near him. The other part knows that while he may love you, he won’t ever allow that love to grow.
“Theo, please.” You say, not really sure what you mean. Maybe begging him to love you, maybe just asking him to leave you be. You wonder if he could love you again, if you went with him, maybe the two of you could rebuild the old relationship.
He gives you a sad look, “Please come with me, I’ll help you hide, we can get off this planet and I can take you back to Yavin 4 where you can start making a real difference again. You’ll be safer there, and we’ll see each other from time to time.”
Something in you hardens and you pull your hand away from his with more anger than you intended. He wants to save you, but he doesn’t want you. Tears fill your eyes and you choke out, “Theo, leave me alone.” Then you turn and head down the street.
Theo doesn’t follow you this time and you wander aimlessly until you can think again. You feel stupid, allowing yourself to believe for a moment that Theo might take you back. You chastise yourself for thinking that you could have your old life back. That he would want you still. There is a sizable guilt for considering betraying Cal, he may be a part of the Empire but he has been loyal to you. You know he cares for you and wants you and would not abandon you.
You stop walking, allowing the sun to heat your exposed skin. Glancing around at the sky and part of the market you have found yourself in. Noting the place where you realized that you no longer doubt being with Cal. He deserves your loyalty, your faith, and your love. He has always been honest about his intentions and how he must handle situations. Cal would never blindside you with a change of heart. He is very honest about the man he must be.
You love him; realization hits you. You are in love with Cal. All you have wanted your entire life is finally available to you. It isn’t exactly the way you imagined it, but it is what you need.
A different eatery is across the street from you. It seems busy and you decide to celebrate your newfound emotions there. You wait a while to be seated, but you spend your time reading on your datapad while you wait. You are struggling to pay attention to the book since you keep getting distracted with thoughts of Cal.
You picture him when he made you dinner; he was so handsome. He always is, but especially in that moment. Shirtless and caring for you in the most basic way, feeding you. You think about how good he looks without a shirt on, his body is a work of art. His muscular arms make you weak, you remember that you still need to become submissive enough to be allowed to touch them. Perhaps he’ll reward you with it when you tell him you love him.
You continue to daydream about how you’ll tell Cal the news; you decide to wait until he is looking at you that special way. To look up into his fierce eyes and confess your feelings. You want to watch how his eyes give away his expression, to see his stern look replaced with one of joy and wonder.
An open table cuts your thoughts short and you take the seat and order your food. The sun is high in the sky before you can finally eat for the first time today. It doesn’t really bother you, you’ve gone much longer without food. However, the moment the server places your food on the table your brain reminds you that while it can wait, it would really prefer not to. You scarf down the meal faster than you expected; you had been hoping to linger here longer. But since the eatery is so busy you decide it may be best to allow someone else an opportunity to eat.
Heading back down the street you decide to check out some more of the shops even though you are out of spending money. There is a clothing store that catches your eye and you wander through, touching each article of clothing that interests you. You revel in the feeling of various lovely textures that tickle your fingers.
They have a display of jewelry near the back of the store and you look at the pretty pieces. One stands out; a gold chain necklace with a clear gem hung from the center. You touch it delicately, admiring the way it sparkles when it catches the light.
It reminds you of your family, your mother had always worn a beautiful pendant that your father had gifted her. As a child you told her you wanted a necklace like hers when you got older. She would always smile and tell you she might very well give you her necklace one day.
The day you lost your family, before leaving, you had gone to check your mother’s body for the necklace. Unable to bear the thought of it being left behind for someone else to take. But you couldn’t find it, you checked everywhere thinking she may have placed it somewhere else but ultimately gave up. The stormtroopers looted your home; you are sure one of them stole her necklace.
You shake the memory and release the piece of jewelry, turning away to stroll through the rest of the store. The shopkeeper approaches, offering to help you search but you politely decline.
You spend the afternoon browsing various shops but never regretting the purchases you already made. The sound of your stomach alerts you that you will need to get dinner before heading back to the room. Stopping at the same food cart as before then you head back as the sun sets.
Once safely in the room you eat your dinner and decide to do some more reading. The sun has set completely and you walk over to close the curtains to your window. You jump when a rock hits the glass. Your eyes widen in panic as you wonder if maybe it was just your imagination. But another rock hits the window and you reach to open the pane. The moment you get it open you see Theo below, a panic-stricken look on his face.
“Quickly, climb down!” He whispers as loud as possible.
“What?” You call back, trying to match his volume and urgency.
“Inquisitor, just entered the building.” He explains, only saying the words required to get his point across.
Panic now floods your mind. Cal is back, and Theo is trying to save you, you have no time to think.
“Theo, run, I’ll be okay. Please go, save yourself.” You plead but you see he is already beginning to scale the side of the building, desperate to get to you before Cal does.
“No! Theo, please don’t, go, just go!” You beg.
That is when you hear the lock sliding open behind you.
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